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  • Writer's pictureRachael Rainey

Surrogate Partners vs Sex Coaches

Sexy coach

"Hi, my name is Rachael...

What do I do?...

Well, I'm a surrogate partner... What's that? It's kind of like a sex coach..."

This, for better or worse, is my 5 second networking introduction. It works to create instant understanding with someone that I have just met. Is it accurate though? Most people understand "sex coach," whereas "surrogate partner" is not a well-known term. Many times people think that I mean a "surrogate MOTHER," which is TOTALLY DIFFERENT!

Here is the question: Am I being ambiguous by equating surrogate partners with sex coaches? What is the difference, really? In a nutshell...

  • A sex coach is a trained professional who helps people with sexual issues.

  • A surrogate partner is someone who works with a licensed mental health professional, and provides the hands-on portion of the therapy sessions.

Let's break it down further... There are two main types of sex coaching: experiential and talk.

Experiential vs Talk chart

In experiential sex coaching, the sex coach will teach you how to be a better lover through talking as well as hands-on practices. In experiential, hands-on sex coaching, the sex coach takes a more interactive approach. We guide our clients through exercises to help them feel more comfortable with their body, their sexuality, and intimacy. It begins the same way as talk-based sex coaching, where the coach gets a good idea of the client’s goals and includes talking about their issues and strategies for improvement. Experiential practices might include teaching the client breathing exercises, touch exercises, how to emit and share sexual energy, and how to connect deeply with a partner. Experiential sex coaches point out that just talking often is not enough to learn new skills around sex and intimacy, in the same way that one can't learn piano, dance, or baseball only from a book. Experiential sex coaches teach their clients conscious, embodied touch by touching and being touched by them. They give feedback about how to touch and connect in a more present and sensual way.

Talk sex coaching is similar to life coaching. In talk-based sex coaching the client comes to the practitioner with a challenge. The client's issues could revolve around a host of issues including dating, sexual identity, sexual abuse, sex addiction, sex and aging, open relationships, communication skills, gender identity, sex in long-term relationships, and/or sexual dysfunction. The coach then helps the client figure out what steps they can take to overcome their challenge. The coach also works with the client to develop specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-oriented objectives. The coach gives suggested homework such as reading, videos, and exercises. Talk coaches typically do not have physical contact beyond hugs or handshakes. A coach may offer emotional support by placing a hand on their client’s back or arm when needed, but this is usually the extent of touch in a talk coaching session.

The practitioners at Ananda Integrative Healing Group combine the best of both worlds. We are talk and experiential coaches. Each session with one of our surrogate partners involves talk coaching and hands-on components. Not all surrogate partners are the same. At Ananda we revolutionize sex coaching by combining talk and experience with a holistic sexual healing approach. Surrogate partners work with clients on a very deep, personal level. It is only natural that during the course of this work big changes happen. Being trained as coaches facilitates this change.

Connect with a compassionate and highly trained surrogate partner through Ananda Integrative Healing Group today. Let’s start your healing journey together!

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